i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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