Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Drunk is not a location!
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