Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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