In America we eat man semen.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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