y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
