Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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