Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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