THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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