No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
