It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
