Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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