I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
organizing the empties. That sober.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
