Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
