i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
