Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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