Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
