last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
