I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
