So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
