Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
