just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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