she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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