ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
