East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
