My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Randomize
