So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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