when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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