You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
