in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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