She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
