Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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