i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
