Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
