Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
