It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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