omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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