Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
