when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
