some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
