im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
