a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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