PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
