A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
