would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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