But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
