I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
