I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
how drunk are you?
Several
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
