Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
