PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
