I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
