Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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