i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
