i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
