the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
