You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
