You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
did i walk over a car last night?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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