who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
