I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
