sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
