Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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