i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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