Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
dude. I can hear the air.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
