I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
