Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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