Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
