batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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