it's not cheating when I paid for it
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I intend to get homeless drunk
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
