dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
