I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
