i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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