Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
