i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
