So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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