Little spoons don't ask big questions
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
