After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
