I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
