How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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