I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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