I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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